10,000 possibilities and no place to go

Funny how I end up the same place a lot lately....confused. Confused of which direction I want my job to go, of where my life is taking me and confused about what the heck is going on with that special someone. Things were great this weekend but apparently I read too far into things. I am not sure if he knows what he wants or if he knows and it is not me. If that is the case then tell me...quit stringing me a long like some rejected puppet that you found in the attic. The string is getting worn and I am about to fall of. I am tired of playing this game, I am not a game player when it comes to peoples emotions. The only problem is, that I can't just shut the feelings off that I have.

It is hard being strong for everyone else when I can not even do that for myself. I guess it is always easier to be on the outside looking in than on the inside looking out. I just need to make up my mind, pick a direction and stick with it, there's bound to be another road if I do not like the one I am on.

Look Ma, No shoes!!!!

One of the things that summertime means for me is slip on shoes. I am one of those people who are not too fond of feet but hate wearing shoes. So I love when I can walk around bare foot and let my feet get some sun.
One of the problems with slip on shoes is that they are so easy to take off and I often do every chance that I get, even in the car. Now if I am a passenger and I take my shoes off on a long trip, you can bet your last pay check that I am going to sleep. I do not know what it is but as soon as my feet are out I get sleepy. Now if I am driving, the shoes come off and away we go.
Did you know that there are safet topics on the proper shoes for driving? Yeah, me either but I was pretty sure that it was not recomended not to wear shoes. It is said that the choice of footwear for dring must allow the foot to feel the pressure needed by the pedals to achieve the desired braking or acceleration, well what better way to feel that than not to have shoes on?
I could go into the type of shoes they suggest you wear while driving, but what good will that do, I am still going to take my shoes off and I am pretty sure that you will not be running out to get a new pair just so that you have the proper shoes to take that road trip.

Say what???

Yesterday my son and I spent the day with friends. Upon return from taking his son to work, D brought up a study that he had heard about on the radio on his drive back. "Bed sharing 'drains men's brains' ". With three women and one man sitting at the table, you can imagine how this topic took off. After we laughed about a number of comments that were made between the four of us, I proceded to look up the study on the internet so that I could share this unusual and unimaginable subject.

Austrialian scientist suggest that sharing a bed with soemone could temporarily reduce your brain power. When men spend the night with a bed mate, their sleep is distrubed, wether they make love or not, and this impairs their mental ability the next day.

The lack of sleep also increases a man's stress hormone levels. Accorinding to the study, women who share a bed fare better because they sleep more deeply.

Dr. Neil Stanley states "Historically, we have never been meant to sleep in the same bed as each other. It is a bizarre thing to do". (Sure glad I am not married to him)

Dr. Neil Stanley also said that women are pre-programmed to cope better with broken sleep. And that people did get used to sharing a bed. I guess up until that time, one would continue to get dumber each day, maybe it is a good thing I sleep a lone...yeah no.

Is your house making you fat?

Is your house making you far? Ok, waht????

I came across this article by Barbara A. Desteni on a local new site and of course it caught my attention. How in the world could my house make me fat? I did not know that we as humans get as big as our environment lets us as is the case with some fish and snakes.

We all know that scientists can relate being fat to just about anything, you know like too much food, not enough sleep, stress, just about anything makes us fat, but our house?

Below are some times that were listed in the article with a few of my comments.

Shed some light

Dimming the lights gets you in the mood fora host of things, not the least of which is binge eating. So the researchers at the University of California, Irvine suggest to turn up the lights before you sit down to eat. Bright lights also encourage activity, which burns calories and fat.

-Now I can think of a few things that we do in the dark that will also burn calories and fat and if you binge eat, you are going to eat wether you can see what your are eating or not.

Order the blue-plat special

Blue is the key word here. Research shows that blue is a natural appetite suppressant and that using blue plates, decorating your table with blue and putting a blue light bulb in your refrigerator can inhibit your appetite. By contrast, red, yellow and orange stimulate appetite. We are suppose to avoid these colors in the kitchen, or use them ot our advantage by consuming more antioxidant-rich colored fruits and veggies.

-Hmm, so if my kitchen is decorated in blue I can eat what ever I want an not get fat. Oh come on, you know there is someone out there that thought that same thing...I smell a law suit.

Downsize it

Replace your oversized plates with and utensils with smaller ones. Serving your main course on a salad plate instead of a dinner plate is the first step toward portion control.

- Ok so you are eating on smaller plates with smaller utensils and controling your portions, but you are tripling how many times you go back for seconds. The small plate and utensils just limits how much you can shovel in at one time.

Stay out of your Kitchen

If you hang out where the food is, you are going to eat. Kitchens are the focal point in many homes.

-Yes, because modern technology has made refrigerators with TV's build into them, now the family can get a snack and not miss a thing while watching their favorite shows and can skip the commercials. Maybe that walk from the living room to the kitchen for that snack was not such a bad idea after all.

Color with Calm

Hormones released sureing time of stress can make you fat. Most pastel colors have a calming effect that let you get rid of stress and keep hormones such as cortisol - which had been linked to fat storage around the abdomen-under control.

-So does that mean the blue in the kitchen has to be pastel blue? Some how I do not think that is what they meant. And do you think that fat stored around your abdomen could be alcohol consumption, I have seen my ex and it looks like he swallowed an intertube...pretty sure that is not stress related.

Sleep scents

Sleep deprivation has also been linked with lowering your body's ability to burn fat. To help yourself fall asleep and stay asleep, spray lavender oil on your pillow.

Peppermint and jasmine scented candles increase energy.

-Yes, and next year lavender oil will be in the top 20 causes of cancer as we all lay our heads on our lavender oil soaked pillow.

Simple Equipment

You don't have to spend thousands of dollars to equip a fancy home gym. All you really need is an exercise mat and a couple of dumbells to get inspired.

-What about a walk with a loved one? All you really need to do is get out and have some fun, play a game of ball with the kids, how about that local softball or basketball team? Those do not cost anything and the time spent with people you care about....priceless.

Get rid of your fat clothes

If you have recently lost weight and bought a new wardrobe, get rid of the old clothes that are too big and donate them to charity. Keeping larger-size clothes in your closet is like giving yourself permission to put the weight back on.

-Yep, because I want that size 20 dress hanging in my closet. Of course we are going to get rid of the bigger clothes in our closet, we will have twice as much room now. And donating the "big" clothes to charity, isn't that like giving someone else the permission to be fat.

Decorate with success

Spruce up your decor with items that remind you of your goals. If you want a slim figure, find a picture of a thin person in a magazine and put it on your refrigerator door. For extra incentive, get a pic of yourself, cut off the head and attach it to the picture.

-Where to start with this one? Why would we need to hang that picture of a thin person on the frige when in todays society we are faced with thin, beautiful people every day. I do believe the numbers of anorexic people are higher today than they have been.

We need to stop finding excuses and find what works for us. We are all different in every way and what works for one person may not work for another.

Big or small, it does not matter. It is not the size of the person but the size of their heart that matters, as long as your are healthy.

Love who you are and others will too.

(House is Frank Lloyd Wrights Fallingwaters)

Summer Solstice

For most of us, today is the first day of summer, but to a lot of people it is the Summer Solstice. The summer solstice is when the sun appears to be at it's greatest, so day is lognest. We also have a winter solstice, where there is the least amount of sun, but that is blog for another day.

In many ancient times, summer solstice was a time for celebration. Even today there are celebrations and rituals that still go on. Below are just a few examples, believe there are many more.

In Ancient China, the summer solstice ceremony celebrated the earth yin forces. It complemented the winter solstice which celebrated the yang forces.

In Ancient Gaul, the midsummer celebration was called Feast of Epona, goddess who personified fertility, sovereignty and agriculture. She was riding a mare.

Ancient Sweden, a misdummer tree was set up and decorated and each danced around it. Women and girls would customarily bathe in the local magic ritual, intended to bring rain for the crops.

So you see, it is not just the first day of summer, it is the summer solstice, a time for celebration. Be thankful today for something, the grass, the sky, the water, the sun they are all part of this universe as we are. Step out side, dance in the sun or the rain, celebrate summer, celebrate life.

Land of Confusion

For a long time now I have been trying to figure out where I fit in this world, but it seems like everytime I think I get a handle on things, the world takes me for a spin and I have to start all over again.

One of the things I think that confuses me most is not knowing where you stand with someone. With me, there is never that question, I have no problem putting it all out there for you to know where you stand with me. Now when you get a person that is not good at communicating and lacks in self esteem trying to figure out where you stand with them is a nightmare. Of course you don't dare ask for fear of sending that person into some state of shock or even an episode where they hide out in their home for a week. So what do you do? Yeah, I have not figured this out yet. I have tried throwing a line out to see if they would bite, sometimes they did and sometimes it was the cold shoulder. I think that I rather know where I stood with someone and be hurt by their choice than to not know at least we can get past the hurt of knowing but not knowing leaves us stuck in the land of confusion.

The Pig and I

I just recently finished reading a book by Rachel Toor called "The Pig and I". I would not say that this was the best book that I have ever read, but it one that I could easily relate to.

This funny, irreverent memoir is for every woman who has ever come home from a disastrous date or day at the office to the unconditional love and comfort of a pet.

Rachel's relationship with her pets were the only thing that let her reach the most tend and vulnerable parts of her self. Throughout the book Rachel shares her experiences and relationships with men who she compares to dogs, and the animals that she see far superior to me.

This is by no means a man bashing book, but a book on how one person can substain a relationship with an animal and how it is so difficult for her to substain a releationship with another human being.

For me it was a good read and I could relate to it, ok other than the fact that I never had a potbellied pig living in my house, I felt as though I was not alone.

"Why is it so easy to love an animal and so hard to live with a man?"

Live, Love, Laugh, and Communicate

I have alwasy been the type of person that when I think of someone that I have not seen or talked to for a while, I have to call or send them an e-mail to let them know that I was thinking about them. I often thought this to be one of those freaky habits that people develope, until I seen a sermon on TV where they were talking about living like you were dieing. That made me realize that this was not a freakish behavior on my part but me living everyday and letting the people that I care about know that I care about them. I know that if something should happen to me, the people in my life that mean the world to me will know exactly how I felt about them. To me this is one of the greatest accomplishments that I have achieved in my life.

The other part of the sermon was about not holding grudges and to learn to forgive the people who have done you wrong. I am still working on this on and may never acheive this goal, but the effort that I put into it will be rewarding in it's own way.

So live, love, laugh and remember to communicate.

Dreaming

Dreaming are is our tool of self discovery, our subconscious mind relaying messages to us. We all dream, some of us remember our dreams and some of do not.
Everyone knows the saying "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus", and that is true we are build differently, act differently and dream differently.

Men dream more of tools and contraptions as the want immediate soulutions to their problems. The tools in their dreams symbolize their built-in-skills to "fix" the situation.
Women dream more of conversations as they tend to discuss everything. When presented with a problem, we woman discuss it extensively and often find ourselves jabbering away in our dreams.
Men dream more of other men as most of their issues tend to be with other men. Men ten to forgive and forget easily when it comes to women but hold a grudge a little longer with another man.
Women dream more of indoor settings as this goes back to primal instincts of remaing at home and nurturing the children.

Sometimes are dreams are short and some time they are long and drawn out, either way you should keep a journal on your bedside table and write down what you remember about your dream when you wake up, you never know what your subconscious mind is trying to tell you.

Dig Down Deep

Have you ever been stuck on a song where that is that only song that you want to hear and you listen to it over and over again until the words constantly play through your head? Well guess what, I do and right now I am stuck on a song that had been around for awhile but I had never heard it.
About 5 yrs ago a friend made be a tape of songs (I think we have all done that at least once in out life time) and this song "Dig Down Deep" was on there. Now I listened to it a few times but never really paid all that much attention to it, but lately that is the only song that I want to listen to. I love it, the whole song, everthing about it, and it has great feeling to it. If you have never heard it before, the lyrics are listed below but I suggest you listen to it.

Dig Down Deep
Baby let’s go below the surface
See what we can find
There’s no reason to be nervous
‘Cause it happens all the time
I don’t want to go up to the mountain
I don’t need to go down to the sea
Gonna sit right here ‘till we unravel The mystery
While the lights of the city Are shining below
Gonna hold onto you girl And never let go
While everyone else is just walking around In their sleep
Baby let’s dig down Dig down deep
I wanna dig down deep
And I don’t wanna wait until tomorrow
‘Cause the fortune said that “The time is now”
It’s time to find out what we’re doing
What we’re doing anyhow
Let’s go out in the moonlight
And walk for awhile
Maybe stay up all night and we could Talk for awhile
Kick off your shoes ‘Cause you’ve got nothing to lose But your sleep
Baby let’s dig down Dig down deep
I wanna dig down deep
It’s an open invitation
So baby don’t you cry
It’s a life long celebration
And I think we’re right on time
It’s a feeling in your heart
And a lump in the throat
It’s a strange and lovely ride
Wanna dig down deep inside
While the lights of the city Are shining below
Gonna hold onto you girl And never let go
While everyone else is just walking around In their sleep
Baby let’s dig down Dig down deep
I wanna dig down deep
Could you dig down deep
I wanna dig down deep

Expectations

I was raised to set my expectations high and have often wondered if that is why the disappointments in my life are so big. If we set the bar high and things do not work out exactly as we had hoped the disappointment hits a little harder than it would if our expectations were set a little lower. Wonder if that is where the phrase “Hope for the best expect the worse” came from. That way if the worse does happen we are not so disappointed but more prepared than we would have been if we expected better.
I am not sure about everyone else but I still set high expectations and dream big. Yes, it has lead to some big disappointments in my lifetime but thinking and fantasizing how great things could be were fun and sometimes worth the let down. Sometimes living in the fantasy world that we create in our minds takes away from the disappointments that we experience in the real world. I would like to think that I walk away from a disappointment and learn from it but that does not mean I will not make the same mistake twice…a 3rd time, now that is a different story.

For me this time

I have been thinking about blogging again for a long time and in that time I realized that I need to do this for me. Yes, it is great to get a lot of comments and feedback, but that is not why I started blogging. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of that and blogging was not fun anymore. When something you love is not fun to do anymore, it is time to sit back and re-evaluate the situation. And so I did, and come to realize that this is a passion, good or bad this is for me.

I still have not found my way in this world but am learning a lot about me and other people along the way. I am ok with that becuase I know that no matter what I will stay true to who I am, after all I am me and this is who I am.